As our new president, Tiger Woods, takes the oath of office, ends racism, and catches bullets with his teeth, we find our minds wandering to the past, about twelve minutes ago, and whether we just finished off the Zantac or the Zanax, and as we stagger to the trash can to fish out the bottle to check, we slip, whang our heads on the countertop, and slip back in time to George W. Bush’s first inauguration in 2001, a famous film director’s boast, and a little essay we call:

Why Did I Agree To Help Robert Altman Move?

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