The Fantasy SNL League Draft: Round Six

We’re at that point in the draft where we need to pay attention to our open positions. I expect… I expect nothing anymore. That last round broke me. It broke me. I’m going to just take in one round at a time, one round at a time.

T. Mike Childs selects Adam Sandler

There is no reason why Adam Sandler should be available in the sixth round. He’s a star, he was the people’s champion, and he has that nutcase sensibility that adds to the cast’s wackiness quotient. One of the bigger stars to come out of Saturday Night Live, and he’s available in the sixth.

What does T. Mike have to say about this?

Round 6: Already feeling foolish over Jackson, I switch gears and forgo picking another woman (Mistake two). To make myself feel better, I grab a big name I can’t believe is still on the table: Adam Sandler.

–T. Mike Childs

Well said. Looking at T. Mike’s roster, though, I can’t help but think that he thinks SNL was only in the mid-‘90s. Anyone else see that?

Jason Torchinsky selects Christopher Guest

Where was this pick last round?

Christopher Guest is one of my all-time favorites. His one season on SNL was a showcase of his hyper-real characters he’s famous for; I watched the short film he did with Billy Crystal about the Negro League players, and it was five years later before I realized it was Guest in the film with Crystal. That’s how good his characters are. Christopher Guest should work well with Phil Hartman, giving the cast two dedicated craftsmen.

Now if Jason can somehow get Billy Crystal in the seventh round, he’ll have a decent comedy duo and a lot of material to work with. I have a hunch that won’t happen. I hate when that happens (I know what you mean, it’s like the time I took a ball peen hammer and…).

Alan Benson selects A. Whitney Brown

I’m this close to punching someone in the neck.

When Jason picked Christopher Guest, Alan said a small swear word, because he was hoping to grab Guest and team him with Harry Shearer (from Round Five) and Michael McKean (who would be picked in a later round). Then he could have a “Spinal Tap” reunion. Nice thinking, Alan. That would have been sweet.

Since Jason drafted Guest, Alan said he was going to be a softie and go with an old favorite. I’m thinking Billy Crystal, maybe Garrett Morris, maybe Joe Piscopo… but A. Whitney Brown? Did he do ANYTHING ELSE but the “Big Picture” on Update? Oh, according to my research, he has a Bartles and Jaymes impression. How timely.

I’m getting the distinct impression that Alan thinks SNL is a 15-minute newsmagazine that starts at midnight.

Rob Terrell selects David Spade

Wow, this database Rob made is cold and calculating, but not good at reading his opponents.

David Spade was one of the more popular cast members of the early ‘90s. His “Hollywood Minute” was a staple of Weekend Update, and his last year he did nothing but “Spade in America.” He built a cottage industry around being snarky. He was definitely a fan favorite.

And yet, he wasn’t necessarily a Van Gogh-Gogh favorite. Two guys in this draft told me point-blank there was no way they’d draft David Spade. Rob probably could have waited two more rounds for Spade. He made the same mistake with Chris Kattan, I think.

I’m not going to complain about it too much; I’m just going to reap the benefits.

Charles Rempel selects Darrell Hammond

Twelve seasons and 87 impressions. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the true unsung hero of Saturday Night Live: Darrell Hammond. How did we forget about him? Maybe because he’s only been on SNL for 37.5% OF THE ENTIRE RUN OF THE SHOW! That’s just amazing.

He is the king of impersonations at SNL. I bet the writers come up with a sketch idea that needs a good impression. They go ask the other cast members if they can do the impression, just to be fair, and then they call Hammond. Darrell listens to the idea, nods, grabs a wig out of a box and nails the impression.

I was hoping like crazy that Hammond would be around until now. My cast has its uber-impressionist now, and a solid hard-working character actor to boot. I am now going to turn on some music and dance. You can’t hear that I’m playing the Bee Gees, can you? Good. That would be embarrassing if you could.

Galen Black selects Billy Crystal

I think this pick rooks mahvelous. Absolutely mahvelous.

Did you know Billy Crystal was supposed to perform stand-up on the very first episode of Saturday Night Live, but got cut for time restraints? And roughly a decade later, he comes back as the headliner. He has the big impressions, the wacky characters, and he even got to host a show, the SNL Film Festival, that year. He was on top of the comedy hill then.

And now? He passed over until the end of the sixth round. It’s criminal, I tells ya!

Galen lets us in on the secret of drafting Crystal:

I waited patiently for the snake draft to snake back to me and at the end of the 6th round I was very surprised to see Billy Crystal still available. I think we all forget how funny he was on Saturday Night Live. He was only there a year, but he did for Sammy Davis, Jr. what Piscopo did for Sinatra.

–Galen Black

This pick goes a long way in helping shore up holes in Galen’s cast. Billy Crystal complements Belushi’s style (and to think, they could have shared the stage on that first show).

Round Six recap

It was better than the fifth round that’s for sure.

This round saw a lot of the overlooked “big names” get snagged up in a hurry. Sandler, Spade and Crystal would have been picked by now if any other comedy collective were doing this draft. That’s not how the Van Gogh-Goghs roll.

Two glue-types (Christopher Guest and Darrell Hammond) got picked right about when they should, in the middle rounds after the stars are gone. The fact that Jason made one of the picks makes me think he drank a little of that Jekyll-and-Hyde potion he keeps in an old Coke can by his computer.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a complete round without a head-scratcher, right? A. Whitney Brown? Seriously?

I mean, you’re on my side, right? There’s no way Brown should be drafted, right? Send us a comment, and let us know how this round turned out for you.

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