With Commentary

by T. Mike
The Dream:

In my dream, comedian, author, and former Saturday Night Live regular Al Franken has become king. Not of America of course, and I’m not exactly sure precisely what country he’s king of, but it’s probably England, as it’s the most well-known of the current countries still ruled by monarchy. Also, I keep affecting a fake British accent in the dream.

I am King Al’s personal assistant. He has just only recently become King; everyone is still surprised by this strange turn of events. The large kingly mansion is a-bustle with activity. The King is boning up on the country’s history with an unusual mix of materials: my old college history notebook and priceless original historical documents such as a letter from King Quentin from 1423 (yes, I know there was no King Quentin, this is just a king my subconscious made up). King Franken is hurriedly flipping through the papers as he dresses to get ready for some kingly ceremony. I’m wincing as he reads because the notebook is all marked up with my grades. And while I did pretty well, there was that one D that dragged my whole average for the class down to a C.

Fortunately for me, however, King Al either doesn’t seem to care or notice, and instead makes some comment about the shocking content of some of the original letters that the public has never seen. My curiosity stoked, I slyly suggest that I could transcribe the handwritten and archaically worded letters for his majesty, to make it easier for him to read them. He offhandedly agrees, and once he’s ready, we set off down a busy hall to get him to the auditorium for the ceremony. However, he sets a rapid pace, pulling in front of me, then ahead, and after a few turns I’ve lost him! I double back and check a few side doors, sticking my head into a massive kitchen, where the heat has gotten so bad some of the attractive female chefs have doffed all of their clothing except for the chef hats. I would love to stick around if I wasn’t so freaked out about losing track of the King. By now, I’m positive that I didn’t just accidentally lose him, but rather he has quite deliberately ditched me. And very likely skipped out on whatever ceremony we were just en route to.

Analysis:

This dream is kind of weird, even for me. While I respect Al Franken as a comedian, and for his courage in poking fun at high-ranking Republicans, I hardly idolize him, much less think him of kingly stature. Even in the dream he acts like a normal guy, and to his credit, is not trying to put on any false airs. The way he ditches me and the ceremony shows that he is not totally into the whole “King” thing and not that interested in power.

For some bizarre reason, I have always thought I would make a pretty good butler, and I can do a decent upper class British accent (my years of watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus were not a total waste!). Well, here in my dream, I get my big chance to do both, and I blow it. It’s really not my fault, really. Franken is obviously not willing to work with me here. He probably thinks it’s funny that he ditched me (especially so easily). Also, this is his first ditching, so I wasn’t really prepared for it. You can bet if the dream had gone on, I’d have been watching him like a hawk after that!

Fortunately for me, the dreams ended before I had to deal with the consequences of that thoughtless, thoughtless Al Franken. But really- if a leader misses a scheduled public event, who gets the blame? That leader, not his personal assistant! What was I so worked up about?! I need to relax. This is not my “fault.” And in retrospect, even though maybe Franken knew I’d freak out on the enditchment, he probably also knew I wouldn’t get the blame, enabling him to ditch with a clear conscience. At least as far as I was concerned. So while Franken’s irresponsible in my dream, at least he’s not a total ass.

Conclusions:
What conclusions can be drawn from this dream?
1. I loves historical documents.
2. I can’t believe he ditched me. What is this? Grade school?
3. Comedians do not make reliable political leaders.
4. Before you ask, no I have never seen the film King Ralph and don’t particularly care to.
4. Before you ask, no I have never read Franken’s novel where Franken gets elected president. And don’t particularly care to.
5. Naked female chefs are hot.
6. I want credit for inventing the word “enditchment.”
I thank you for your time.

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 15th, 2006 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Update. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.