I know there’s all kinds of ruckus about how the NSA has been keeping track of every phone call we’ve ever made, and, while this is a huge problem, the real problem is that the NSA has some kind of super-fetus program in place and has been using them, as in the case of Gen. Michael Hayden (pictured here) as their chief.

 

Now, this picture doesn’t show it, but I believe behind the podium you could see his umbilical cord snaking out of his tiny trousers and down into a bucket of custard or Fruity Pebbles or something. And everything here is scaled down to fetus-sized. Look at those teeny (yet still seemingly too tight) glasses!

I mean, the real problem here is that this fucker is in charge of the NSA and yet he has no life experience— hell, he’s not even born! And I think we know why this administration’s so against abortion: they want all the fetuses for themselves, to staff the NSA!

 

Plus, if all this isn’t bad enough, there’s nude pictures of this unborn fucker all over the internet. See?