In celebration of the birth of our Lord, Santa Christ, we share with you the spirit of the season! HA HA! Now we don’t have to get you a real present! Chump! Hey, it was either this or macrame. You’re lucky you’re not getting an ashtray made out of Play-Doh, like Mom. Enjoy with our compliments-

Love, The Van Gogh-Goghs

Feelin’ Scrooge-y? Den fizzuck dat Chriznismas Schnizzle and get your Grinch on: How to Ruin Christmas!

Tis the season! For cheap nostalgia of Christmases past! Our Most Memorable Presents!

Bring on the booze! Ah, sweet delicious booze… What better way to consume it than by playing our Holiday TV Specials Drinking Games!

Want to see Santa on Christmas morning? Leave him a batch of our special Santa Claus Knockout Cookies!

Not sure if you’re getting coal or presents this year? Sounds like you better take our Naughty or Nice Quiz!

How to Prevent a Santa Invasion

Jason’s Christmas Memories He Never Really Had

What Christmas Means to Mythical Creatures

Double-Ho-Seven

The Van Gogh-Goghs are officially endorsing Senator Melonpants for Senate. Melonpants has served this country proudly during the last 6 years and will continue to make this country great. Unlike Governor Clamford, Melonpants will not sell out our children’s future, but fight to keep them alive at least until their brains are mature enough to eat. Not that Sen. Melonpants likes to eat brains or that he doesn’t like to eat brains. We’re just saying the Senator is looking out for the brain eating voters of America. And also those who don’t eat brains. Watch this documentary for a behind the scenes look at Senator Melonpants’ campaign.

Friends, isn’t it past time that we made Halloween, a national, government-approved holiday? Halloween is a wonderful, magical event when the whole family gets together and has a terrific time, no matter what their race, religion or sexual orientation. Why should this marvelous time of community and family bonding be forced to hobble along in its current, semi-observed, legal limbo?

Oh, I can hear the protests now. Halloween is satanic! Halloween encourages hooliganism! Halloween apples are chock full of razor blades! Halloween is antisemitic! Let me tell you something. Halloween isn’t about Satan. It isn’t about paganism. It isn’t even about hallows, whatever the hell they are. It’s about candy, dammit! Candy, candy, candy!!! Now granted, apples could have razor blades in them, which is why they should all be banned, period. And as for candy apples, that unholy hybrid of candy and noncandy, you don’t even want to get me started. But do you know what so-called Christians’ real objection to Halloween is? We got free candy coming to us and those bastards don’t want to have to give it to us.

Listen to an hour of your favorite fake bands and an interview by Rocklopedia Fakebandica author T. Mike Childs. (Interview about 13:00 minutes in)

This Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY, July 24th at 9pm Central Time, the fine and highly intelligent folks at Minnesota Public Radio will be presenting a radio show about The Rocklopedia Fakebandica! Tune in to 89.3 The Current to ”The Current Presents” to catch it, or listen online here.

Here’s where you can hear The Current:

The Van Gogh-Goghs live from SketchFest Seattle in the year 2000. This is one of our favorite sketches we like to call “Monkey’s Paw”.  And if you listen real close you can hear the sounds of people playing pool in the billiards hall above the Speakeasy Café.

Download here (14 Mb)

Say friends, do you have an unnamed unicorn or Native American just sitting around the place? Are tired of shouting “Hey! You there!” and not knowing which unicorn or Native American might respond to your call?


Well fret no more! The Van Gogh-Goghs are here to do away with the endless, workaday drudgery of coming up with appropriate names for your unicorn or Native American! Thanks to the miracle of “science” combined with the Internet, you can name your mystical, special friend or unicorn easily and quickly! To use, merely click the “Create Name!” button:

Hey,

We got a Twitter account! Follow us, won’t you?!

It’s not just any ole bullcrap like your aunt twittering what they ate, read, saw, breathed. It’s full on lies, my good, good friend. May I call you friend? Great! Also, can I borrow $50 bucks? I can pay you back Tuesday. Awesome.

Look, we know what you like. Fooling your friends. With lies. No problem. We have got tons of believable lies. Try ’em out, see if you can get your friends to believe ’em. Or just be amused up to and including once a day! Fresh lies daily! DAILY, my friend. DAILY. No lie!

The BP Oil Leak Disaster rages on, spurting bajillions of toxic oil into the Gulf! Several goofily-named attempts to seal it have failed. Now what?! Like all good disaster movies, the solution to the oil spill might be to blow up the problem with a nuclear bomb:

First, however, BP needs to assemble a ragtag bunch of losers, oldsters, and rebels into a lean, mean, oil-well-nukin’ machine.

Harrison Ford as the grizzled veteran oil man who retired in shame after a similar accident ten years ago!

Shia Lebeouf as the newbie looking to prove himself!

Max Wright as the evil bureaucrat!

Owen Wilson as the computer expert!

Sean Connery as the wheelchair-bound marine biologist! (His character is cajun, but doesn’t bother to change his accent.)

Gérard Depardieu as the French cork expert brought in against the team’s wishes!

Justin Bieber as the stowaway!

Megan Fox or any other interchangeable young actress as the eye candy/”love interest” (in quotes because, let’s face it, these flicks are all about the love that dare not speak its name)!

Stan Lee as the obligatory cameo!

This movie practically makes itself! We can see it now…just before the big climax, this bit of dialogue from the article plays out:

“Probably the only thing we can do is create a weapon system and send it down 18,000 feet and detonate it, hopefully encasing the oil,” Matt Simmons, a Houston energy expert and investment banker, told Bloomberg News on Friday, attributing the nuclear idea to “all the best scientists.” Or as CNN reporter John Roberts suggested last week, “Drill a hole, drop a nuke in and seal up the well.”

Hollywood, we await your call.