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Greetings, Unsuspecting Netizen.
Howdy folks, and thanks for stopping by my own li'l wedge of the Internet. What drives a man to be a member of a six man sketch comedy group? You're better off not knowing, my friend. Only the most psychologically damaged of persons dare seek the unholy power therein and are willing to pay the terrible, terrible price for it. Twisted to begin with, our evil studies and cruel experiments warp us so that sometimes it seems we are no longer part of this world. It must be so. The black and arcane knowledge necessary to create laff-tastic rib-tickling hilarity would utterly annihilate the mind and soul of any mere ordinary human.
The rubber chicken, the cream pie, the seltzer bottle, these are the innocent-seeming totems that symbolize our nefarious craft. The unsuspecting audiences laugh and laugh but realize nothing of how our performance has forever altered their pathetic lives in small, but significant ways. The fools! If only they knew... But they don't even suspect. But it matters not, for their puny sheeplike minds could never stop us, much less comprehend the full implications of our hideous intentions. So laugh, human, LAUGH! Yes, laugh loud and long and clear. Oh, it is funny....
The Rocklopedia Fakebandica
I like fake bands. You know, fictional bands that appear on tv or in movies? I don't know why, but I feel it is my solemn and sacred duty to catalog them. Thus I have started The Rocklopedia Fakebandica. It will probably always be under construction, so
me suggestions and links. And link suggestions. And suggestive links.
Me Am Write Good
It's not so much that I enjoy the act of writing itself as it is I enjoy the way people look at me after reading what I've written. That nervous, lip-licking, deer-in-headlights look of pure joy they get just instantly fills me with eye-twitching, incessant hand-washing feelings of delight. So here's some of my creations:
Guide to Los Angeles for Non-Los Anglicans (and other places)
Perhaps you'd enjoy the first installment of my life's work, T. Mike's Guide to Every Major City in the World. Oddly enough, I start with Los Angeles, where I live. Pure coincidence, really.
The Van Gogh-Goghs' good friend, Alec Vance wrote a Newcomer's Guide to New Orleans for T. Mike's Guide to Every Major City in the World. But just cause he has effectively written half of the current guide, does not mean the"T. Mike" is coming out of the title, that's for damn sure.
Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying, "T. Mike, what about every MINOR city in the world?" Well, busy as I am with the major cities and bickering with Alec over who's name goes on the cover, I had to contract the small cities out to other people. So here is my first installment of Alec's T. Mike's Guide to Every Minor City in the World: Savanna, Illinois (by Mike Sardone).
Palindromes! !semordnilaP
For those of you who don't know, palindromes are words or phrases that are the same backwards as forwards. Once upon a time I had such an incredibly boring job that I would sit and try to come up with them for hours at time, for days on end. A geeky way to stick it to "The Man," granted, but the important thing is that The Man got stuck, isn't it people? So, to stick it even harder and geekier to The Man, I'm posting them here on the web! Click here.
Ya Gotta Have Links! Or Else.
It's just not a web page without links, is it? You spend dozens of man-hours creating an attractive website that people will want to visit time and time again just to send them to some other yahoo's site. People come to yer site and the first place they want to go is away. Besides, if you don't make a links page, those web nazis who run this Internet thingy will throw you in the freaking death camps.
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