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Rempel Wins Van Gogh-Gogh 'Who Looks Dorkiest in a Beret' Contest

LOS ANGELES (Intermunicipal Van Gogh-Gogh Press Syndicate) Mar. 6, 2000---- Los Angeles-based sketch comedy group the Van Gogh-Goghs announced a winner in their "Who looks dorkiest in a beret" contest. Van Gogh-Goghs member Charles Rempel, 29, of Los Angeles, Calif., was declared the winner and presented with a check for $10,000.

"I can't wait to go blow this check!" Rempel said. "Vegas, here I come!"

"As long you don't spend the money on berets!" laughed group member Galen Black.

"One side, dorko!" Rempel exclaimed, as he jokingly kicked Black into a steel pole and quickly exited the awards ceremony.

Dork (left) presents Rempel with $10,000.
Second place winner Childs (left) presents Rempel with $10,000, in traditional oversized novelty check form.
Rempel's win in the closely watched contest came as quite a surprise. Group member Rob Terrell was heavily favored to win, due to his incorporation of the beret into an entire, dorky-looking "New Romantic" ensemble.

Unfortunately for Terrell, his plan backfired and he ended up coming in next to last. Analysts believe that many voters felt Terrell was simply trying too hard.

"Terrell pandered, and the voters recognized that and rejected it," said Ira Cook, a professional hatter and haberdasher.

Cook also noted the voting was complicated by the fact that dorky people are unlikely to have their dorkiness enhanced by a beret. Second-place winner T. Mike Childs is one of those rare exceptions, she said.

"Childs is what we would categorize as a 'loser,'" said Cook. "Dorky without a beret, even dorkier with a beret."

Childs received a small trophy commemorating his second-place showing.

Benson presents dork with trophy.
Third place winner Benson presents Childs, the dorky one in the beret, with the second place trophy.
The contest, which began on November 1, 1999, pitted the six members of the Van Gogh-Goghs against one another. Each member was photographed in an official Boy Scout beret, and Internet voters were asked to decide which one looked the dorkiest.

The contest was inspired by events at one of the Van Goghs-Goghs' practice sessions. In a fit of idleness, different members began trying on the red beret (a prop in the group's "Damn Those Filthy, Filthy French to Hell" sketch) and comparing how they looked.

Charles Rempel: 70
T. Mike Childs: 50
Alan Benson: 42
Galen Black: 34
Rob Terrell: 30
Jason Torchinsky: 28
"While it was agreed that we all looked dorky in the beret, there was serious discussion over who looked the dorkiest," Black said. "We decided to present our case to the people."

"It all grew out of our theory that everyone looks dorky in certain hats: chef hats, 'Jughead' hats, and, of course, the beret," group member Jason Torchinsky added.

"And those caps worn by turn-of-the-century newsboys, old people and Dom Deluise," group member Alan Benson said. "Do they even have a name? What's the deal with those things?"

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