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by Galen Black
The Countdown Clock
Countdown the days to a wedding, retirement, birth. A product that actually keeps track of how many days are left until it becomes garbage.
Cordless Insect Vacuum
This seemed like a good thing at first. A good thing for kind hearted people who want a gentle way of ridding their homes of pest. Then I read how the thing works. The bug is sucked into a poisoned lined chamber. So the last moments of the bug's life are spent in a dazed, confused, quick painful death. You don't need this to kill bugs. You're bigger than they are and you have shoes. Squash them. Quick and painless. The bug will appreciate it. Well, not as much as they would appreciate being left alone or removed to another place.
 The Remote Controlled Indoor Blimp
Yeah, I said the same thing, "That is cool! I'm getting one." But tell me something, what do you own that has to be blown up that doesn't have a hole in it? Then tell me how old that thing is and how often you use it. Then tell me where that thing is. Top shelf of the closet, that's where.
The World's Largest Crossword Puzzle
Just what I need, the world's largest reminder of how limited my vocabulary is. I can see myself buying this just as fun wallpaper. But one day I'd get bored, there wouldn't be a convenient copy of SkyMall available and I'd fill in the 30 odd entries that I know. Then I'd quit and yet another uncompleted project is born.
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