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Debunked Myths About U.S. Presidents
by Galen Black
There are many stories that are told about the Presidents of these United States. Many of these stories are lies. They are made up by political enemies to embarrass or concocted by campaign managers to glorify or invented by internet web sites to help fill out lists of "Strange but True Facts about the Presidents." Well we are here to set the record straight on some of these lies that have become thought of as fact in our country. The following is a list of statements about U.S. Presidents that are completely and utterly untrue. I hope this will clear up any and all misconceptions that you have about those men that have lead the USA.
- George Washington was a non-practicing vampire.
- John Adams' inaugural speech was taken from a bawdy
Irish pub song called "Miss O'Sullivan's Knickers"
- Thomas Jefferson spent most of his spare time writing
jokes for the popular 18th century comedy team, Williams
and Rothchild.
- James Madison could not speak a word of English.
- James Monroe only ate soup.
- John Quincy Adams milked cows with his toes.
- Andrew Jackson's last will and testament bequeathed
his entire estate to a flower bed.
- Martin Van Buren had his name legally changed from
"Marten" at the age of 17.
- William H. Harrison's death from pleurisy was an
act of Congress (HR 12).
- John Tyler signed a bill over turning the death
of William H. Harrison. (SB 109)
- James K. Polk spent most of his nights in office
sleeping in a tree.
- Zachary Taylor routinely called his Vice President,
"Fillard Millmore"
- Millard Fillmore preferred dusting to the duties
of President and let his maids run cabinet meetings while
he cleaned.
- Franklin Pierce won the 1852 election 2 days after
he was paroled from prison.
- James Buchanan never left the oval office while
President.
- Abraham Lincoln wrote two plays with John Wilkes
Booth in mind to play the lead.
- Andrew Johnson never met Abraham Lincoln.
- Ulysses S. Grant invented the "pull my finger"
gag.
- Rutherford B. Hayes refused to walk, he would only
skip from place to place.
- James A. Garfield was shot because he was a practicing
vampire.
- Chester A. Arthur(There are no known lies or untrue
facts about Chester A. Arthur)
- Grover Cleveland attended the unveiling of the Statue
of Liberty dressed like the monument.
- Benjamin Harrison petitioned Congress to split
the Dakotas into East and West Dakota instead of North and
South.
- Grover Cleveland is unrelated to the 22nd president,
Grover Cleveland.
- William McKinley's assassin was acting in self-defense,
after the Commander in Chief drew a knife and asked for
the man's wallet.
- Theodore Roosevelt never said the words "I love
you."
- William H. Taft wore a helium filled suit in order
to cover his gaunt appearance.
- Woodrow Wilson's twin brother, Pete, acted as President
during Wilson's first and second term.
- Warren G. Harding did not have a belly button.
- Calvin Coolidge never bathed.
- Herbert Hoover was made of a mixture of cheese
and pasta.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt was forced by the Depression
to work a second job as a shoe salesman, during his first
term in office.
- Harry S Truman often announced his trips to the
lavatory by saying "time for the Enola Gay to make another
drop."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower hated the nickname "Ike".
- John F. Kennedy used the alias "Lee Harvey" while
working as a dishwasher at a New Hampshire brothel.
- Lyndon B. Johnson used the Lincoln Bedroom as his
favorite hiding place during the daily Cabinet hide-n-go
seek games.
- Richard M. Nixon believed the moon landing was
faked to make Kennedy look good.
- Gerald R. Ford saw "A Chorus Line" 90 times while
in office.
- Jimmy Carter snorted cocaine off the presidential
portrait of William Henry Harrison.
- Ronald Reagan fired 200 painters for not painting
the White House the correct shade of white.
- George Bush ordered the White House staff to call
him "Mistah President."
- William Clinton loved to challenge foreign heads
of state to games of "Mouse Trap."
- George W. Bush, Jr. plays third base for the Texas
Rangers.
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