The Food on the Grill

"A splendid time is guaranteed for all..."

To be quite honest, none of the Beatles, Beatle spouses, or Beatle children have ever eaten at The Food on the Grill. In fact, they don't know we exist. If they did, surely there would have been a lawsuit by now. But a third cousin of George Harrison did work in our kitchen for a while. And The Food on the Grill has had several close encounters with a number of "fifth Beatles:"

George Martin enjoyed a bowl of our once famous Yellow Matter Custard and told us it was some of the finest he ever had. Don't bother looking for it on the menu, we stopped serving this delicacy when the health department told us the source of yellow matter custard is dead dog eyes. As soon as we discover a way to re-create this dish artificially, it will return to the menu.

Pete Best was once seen delivering cabbage to the restaurant.

Billy Preston has promised on several occasions that he will visit the restaurant as soon as there is a break in his schedule.

Ringo Starr's All-Star Band bus once parked in our parking lot while the band stayed at the Clarion Suites next door. Ringo wasn't with the band, he had flown ahead to Birmingham for the next gig.

Brian Epstein never ate at the Food on the Grill. He died 25 years before we had a chance to invite him to our establishment.

Stu Sutcliffe recently joined Brian on the list of 5th Beatles who died before having the chance to eat here. He didn't recently die, we just recently learned of his death. We apologize to the Sutcliffe family for the constant flow of invitations addressed to Stu over the past 4 years.

Clarence Walker showed up on Saturday Night Live in 1984 and claimed to have played saxophone for the Beatles before being kicked out of the band in 1963. He also claimed The Beatles' original name was "The Clarences." However, we think this may have been an elaborate hoax for the sake of a comedy skit, but there is no way to confirm or deny this one way or the other. Regardless, "Clarence" has never eaten at The Food on the Grill.

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Copyright © 1999 The Van Gogh-Goghs