{"id":96,"date":"2009-01-06T15:18:05","date_gmt":"2009-01-06T19:18:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/?p=96"},"modified":"2009-01-06T15:20:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-06T19:20:00","slug":"cola-rape-range-stay-the-hell-away-from-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/?p=96","title":{"rendered":"Cola Rape Range!? Stay the hell away from there!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/colaraprange.jpg\" rel=\"lightbox[96]\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-97\" title=\"colaraprange\" src=\"http:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/colaraprange-300x241.jpg\" alt=\"Cola Rape Range?!\" width=\"300\" height=\"241\" srcset=\"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/colaraprange-300x241.jpg 300w, https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/colaraprange.jpg 733w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>So either the schmuck who has to lay out the grocery store ads got real bored, or billionaires who consider themselves\u00c2\u00a0above the law, have created a secret, hidden\u00c2\u00a0estate, where\u00c2\u00a0they flaunt all propriety and decency and indulge their sick fantasies and decadent tastes: The Cola Rape Range.<\/p>\n<p>Where innocent women, kidnapped fresh out of Nancy Grace\/CNN stories are released, dazed and drugged, and then hunted down and their tender womanhoods ruthlessly violated by horrible mutant colas. Whether these colas, whose very existence are an affront to God,\u00c2\u00a0are cans or bottles, we can&#8217;t know. We just can&#8217;t know.<\/p>\n<p>All we can do is pray.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So either the schmuck who has to lay out the grocery store ads got real bored, or billionaires who consider themselves\u00c2\u00a0above the law, have created a secret, hidden\u00c2\u00a0estate, where\u00c2\u00a0they flaunt all propriety and decency and indulge their sick fantasies and decadent tastes: The Cola Rape Range. Where innocent women, kidnapped fresh out of Nancy Grace\/CNN [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-found-art"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paCRfe-1y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vgg.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}