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Van Gogh-Goghs To Write New Press Release Soon!
LOS ANGELES — The Van Gogh-Goghs proudly announced the addition of a "pure filler" press release to appropriately, "fill in" the spot on their web page (www.vgg.com) where a highly informative and entertaining press release would normally be displayed.
The inferior, not-as-funny press release, written quickly and hurridly uploaded is expected to be riddled with errors. "Bad grammar, sloppy punctuation, even basic mistakes in HTML (HyperText Markup Language) coding are sure to be common in a document given so little thought and effort," said Professor Perry Clownsauce, an expert on the English language and the Internet at a fictional college to be made up later.
"This is typical," said Clownsauce, "of the Internet, the Van Gogh-Goghs and American youth in general. I expect plenty of 'teh's and 'a lot' to be spelled as one word."
Dr. Gerhardt von Tinkelwinkel, a behavioral sciences professor at the same fictional college took a different view, "We may take some solace in the fact that they bothered to put something new up, instead of leaving the old, outdated press release to fester online, confusing and misleading netizens. Granted my name is an attempt at a cheap laugh, but at least they made the attempt."
Professor Clownsauce disagreed, "Von Tinkelwinkel, you fat bastard! This press release is mine! I'm the one getting quoted here! Now beat it!"
"Share the wealth, you greedy schwein," commented von Tinkelwinkel, "How often does a press release come along?"
"You fools!" interjected Dean Gullberry of the aforementioned college, "Can't you see what's going on? The Van Gogh-Goghs are using you both! By pitting you against each other, they pad the already overstretched filler press release even further! Your manipulated argument only adds length and hence, legitimacy to this shoddy piece of work!"
"Gott in Himmel," exclaimed von Tinkelwinkel, a cardboard-thin Germanic caricature, "He's right!"
"What can we do?" asked Clownsauce, a sterotype of the four-eyed pedant variety.
"Be silent," commanded Gullberry, "They'll be forced to stop quoting us. The writer obviously won't get far after that!"
The Van Gogh-Goghs hope the "filler" press release will, in their words "slip under the radar" of their regular website surfers until a more coherent, competent and above all, relevant press release can be written.
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