Damn, life's confusing, what with all the options and possibilities and toppings they offer these days. Everything's a number, but nothing adds up in our crazy-go-nuts world of silicon chips and lust and IRAs. Who knows what's right? Wouldn't you just eat bees to have someone out there give you some sort of sign? To give you some direction?

Of course you would. And, as usual, when you get to whining and moaning about your troubles, who comes and saves your ass but your pals, The Van Gogh-Goghs. So, to help you with all your problems, we're giving you the opportunity to consult the same source the VGGs themselves consult in times of crisis:

A plastic statuette given to us by a mystical, bearded man, a statuette known to have incredible power of reason.

So, just type your yes or no question in the box, click the 'ask' button and watch El Boyo Gigante's head to know which way to turn. Godspeed.

select language Chinese Czech Danish Dutch English Estonian Finnish French German Greek Hebrew Hungarian Icelandic Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish select accent Slurred Giggly Somber Dorky Sultry Snarky Hillbilly Pops & whistles select gestures Wild Creepily tactile Slappy Erotically touchy Firm; excessive Damp	Enter your question for El Boyo Gigante, the happy-go-lucky character who has nothing to do with the Elias Brothers Corporation or the Big Boy chain of restaurants, here.
back to archive page	Why this is no longer "Ask the Big Boy"