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BEHOLD THE WISHMAKER!
Why should terminally ill children get all the fun? Why not a web-surfing, lazy, good-for-nothing sweetie-pie like yourself? I, T. Mike Childs, will grant your wish... maybe. Email me your wish and I'll take a look see. I promise nothing! Nothing!! If I deem your wish worthy, reasonably sane, and grantable, I'll see what I can do.
MISSION STATEMENT:
Have you ever made a wish in your life? Surely everyone has wished for something at one time or another. But have you ever done anything about it? Pfft- no! As they say, wishing won't make it so. And did you know ungranted wishes float up to the heavens and destroy the ozone layer? It breaks O3 down to free oxygen and wish oxide, which falls into the oceans and kills jellyfish.
But now, lo and behold, someone has stepped onto the scene to save the day: me!
I, T. Mike Childs, do hereby solemnly swear to do my best to grant the wishes of the great web-surfing public to the best of my ability. For as long as I feel like it.
WISH SUGGESTIONS:
You can wish for anything! But remember, we're not fricking genies. The likelihood of your wish being granted is directly proportional to our ability to grant them. The more realistic your wish, the higher your wish's "GQ," or grantability quotient.
If your wish involves something happening to a Van Gogh-Gogh or Van Gogh-Goghs, instead of your own selfish self, your wish has a much better chance of attaining grantedness.
If your wish can be performed in the greater Los Angeles area, your wish has a much better chance of falling within the borders of Wishgrantland. If you wish for us to jump off the Statue of Liberty, that's unlikely. But if you wished for us to jump off the Santa Monica Pier, that wish could easily be appointed General Ulysses S. Grant.
New citizens of Grantsylvania will be notified by email.
All emails sent to Wishmaker become the property of the Van Gogh-Goghs and we have your permission to post them here.
So email T. Mike your wish!
See the latest wish!
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