Happy Fourth of July! Now, sing along with me…
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
Aw man, don’t you hate it when you have a back yard Fourth of July cookout, and you have that one uncle who you didn’t want to invite, but had to, and you didn’t think he’d come anyway, but he did, and then you thought “well, as long as he doesn’t get drunk,” but then he does, and then you think, “please don’t sing, please don’t sing, please don’t sing,” and sure enough he starts singing, and then, AND THEN he then tries to drunkenly cajole everyone ELSE into singing with him, and you think things can’t possibly get any worse BUT THEN YOUR DRUNKEN UNCLE PULLS OUT SONGBOOKS, and starts handing them out, you know, so EVERYONE can SING ALONG.
Well that’s what’s obviously happened on the cover of this beer company promotional songbook, only the uncle is… UNCLE SAM. And your back yard? It’s AMERICA. (Did we blow your mind yet?)
Man, Druncle Sam is sure feeling it up there, isn’t he? He is right at the supreme moment of drunkeness.
Did we mention your uncle owns HIS OWN BATON? You know, the better to conduct his not-so-spontaneous singalongs.
Because if there’s one thing Jesus understands, it’s how hard it is to get out of bed on the Sunday after Good Friday. Am I right, people? Go ahead, sleep in. How much different does the sun look at 6am than 10am? Besides, it’s Easter it’s not like there are gonna be presents or anything. Maybe some candy and eggs, but nothing cool like a racing set or a Barbie.
Hey! It’s Valentine’s time! And in the current VGG tradition of barely updating this site with old content, ghost-ship style, here’s another bit of holiday fun from a former day of what we assumed was glory.
What Thanksgiving means to Mythical Creatures
Hey we got you a Christmas present! Open it! Open it! That’s right! Used men’s underwear! The tight, white kind! Perfect for everbody! You don’t have a problem with used clothing do you? Aw c’mon! Greenpeace and all that crap! Save the planet! Save the whales! Save me some money!