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We Van Gogh-Goghs try not to make a big deal about winning web-based awards. Oh sure, we accept them with our usual grace, but we try to take it all in our collective, calm, mannered stride. It's all very well, these graphic blobs distributed by who, really? Some computer geeks feeling self-important. People who think they're "funny." Does the Nobel Committee distribute link buttons declaring "This web page has won the Nobel Prize for Sexiest Asses?" I wish.
Yea, one far flung day, the accolades will fall away like withered rose petals, the awards will be so many deleted data bytes and the sun will set on our hard drive for the last time, in the gloaming. Which, I think, is a kind of pudding.
That said and done, we've won the following awards! Woo-Hoo!
(December 14, 2000)
Macroblur.com has awarded our Furniture Porn site the highly coveted "Golden Alien Swell Site Award." Well, we would have highly coveted it, only this is the first one they've given out.
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(August 31, 2000)
Furniture Porn was declared a Featured Site by the folks at You're Probably Lost. Good thing, too, cuz we needed another award, bad!
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(July 13, 2000)
Rip Slide Productions named Furniture Porn as its Site of the Day! What can we say? People loves the Furniture Porn.
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(July 5, 2000)
Once again, we've snagged a prestigious Cool Site of the Day award, this time for Furniture Porn.
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(April 2000)
Furniture Porn wins an irregular.com Pick 'n' Pan award. Their robot told us so.
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(Mar. 31, 2000)
Our Furniture Porn site was the featured site for March 31st at the CRAPCO Comedy Connection and... Waitaminute. CRAPCO?! What are they implying?
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(Feb. 18, 2000)
Our Furniture Porn site was declared WOTonline.com's insane site of the week.
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(Feb. 15, 2000)
Our Kremlin Fried Chicken site was featured on RedFilter. Isn't that swell of them?
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(Jan. 16, 2000)
New century, new award! Furniture Porn received the highest honor Nurse Nancy can bestow, the This Website Belongs On A Refrigerator Door Award. Says it all, don't it?
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(Dec. 20, 1999)
Our page was Dec. 28th's Cool Site of the Day, one of the premier web awards! So these electrons are much, much cooler than your electrons. |
(November 9, 1999)
After a long dry spell, we find that we've won a U.S. News & World Report Best of the Web 1999 award? Yeah, we would think it was kinda weird too, if the category wasn't humor sites.
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(July 27, 1999)
We won the King of the Web Award. We were praised as "informative," "a quality site," and "...an excellent contribution to the internet community..." Aw, man! Now we feel all weird and full of wholesome goodness and stuff. Now we know how spinach feels.
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(July 26, 1999)
Fyre Womyn awarded us the coveted Fyre Womyn's Five Coolest Sites of the Week Award. Personally, I'm slightly miffed at having to share the award with four other bozos.
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(June 30, 1999)
We won the Pegasus' Web Award. They especially liked Furniture Porn: "Don't think I've ever lol(ed) that much when reviewing a site..... when I hit the porn furniture - the whole house was loling along...."
The review is so nice I almost forgot how much I hate the abbreviation "LOL."
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(June 21, 1999)
The Critical Mass Award was awarded to our site for being "very nice," and "good." and for having our content "presented well and easy to access" Sniff! Gosh Dad, we didn't know you cared!
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(June 20, 1999)
"You've got one fine site," said Paul, and awarded us the Home Grown Award. He especially liked Kremlin Fried Chicken.
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(June 11, 1999)
Furniture Porn won the Open Directory Cool Site Award. Does this mean we have to share our code with everyone? No wait, that's Open Source. Never mind.
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(June 11, 1999)
Furniture Porn was featured in Tim Faith's Weirdness Web. Personally I don't see what's so weird about two adult, mutually consenting pieces of furniture having sex.
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(May 29, 1999)
The Fathead Award Supervisor informed us we won the Fathead Award. Sheesh! I have to run this damn site all by myself, and they have one guy just for awards?! Double sheesh!
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(June 6, 1999)
Our site won Humor.com's "This Site is a Joke" Award. If only we had thought to snag the valuable piece of web estate that must be Humor.com. Then we could give ourselves an award!
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(May 14, 1999)
Furniture Porn won the CoolSTOP "Funny Stuff Award." Which is a disappointment, because we were shooting for their "Deadly Serious Stuff Award."
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(April 24, 1999)
Hey! Wishing Well found us "...not only pleasant to view but also family friendly." HA!HA! Suckers!
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(Jan. 4, 1999)
We start off 1999 right! Our site (Furniture Porn) was selected as Monday, Jan 4th's "Waste of the Day."
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(Dec. 16th, 1998)
The Centre for the Easily Amused featured us! You know they're classy because they spell "center" the British way.
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(Dec. 3, 1998)
Our site has also received the "prestigious" Wacky Web World award. I wish these things came with plaques. A gif file just looks stupid on the mantel.
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(Nov. 29, 1998)
Comedy Planet, a database of comedy sites, thinks our site "is cool." Finally! The approval of entertainment industry lowlifes! No wait, that's the Emmys. Nuts.
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(June 15, 1997)
The folks at Cruel.Com named our Swingline page Cruel Site of the Day for "...doing your part to make negativity, fear, recrimination, and/or loathing more common on the World Wide Web." Now that's an award!
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(March 4, 1997)
The folks at Zug think we're Zug-o-rific! Whatever that means exactly. It better not be dirty.
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(March 11, 1996)
Our very first award, from the Seven Wonders of the Web. Geez, was there even an Internet in 1996?
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