The Van Gogh-Goghs Comedy Collective

So this week's entry is a advertising postcard we received in the mail about six months ago. There's so much wrong here, we have to break it down, point by point.

*Point 1: GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! HIDEOUS CREEPY MUTANT BABY!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT WITH A STICK!!! DIE DIE DIE HORRIBLE MUTANT BABY GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

*Point 2: This is an ad for a DESIGN company. This is where it is important you impress people with how well you can DESIGN things. Things that, say, DON'T have creepy mutant babies on them (see point 1).

*Point 3: Perhaps, just perhaps, it might be a good idea to DESIGN something new, instead of swiping an old soap ad you found. Perhaps that would be a stronger demonstration of your DESIGN skills to your potential customers than crudely angling text so it kinda sorta looks like your company's name is on the soap wrapper. Also, something new you DESIGNED is less likely to have creepy mutant babies on it (see point 1).

*Point 4: Perhaps, just perhaps, it would be a good idea NOT to ask the question "Why Not Visit Us?" next to a creepy mutant baby nobody wants to see, therefore answering the very question you asked, only with "NO!" (see point 1). "Come on down, check out our selection of creepy mutant babies," is not a good marketing strategy, even if you DID sell creepy mutant babies."

*Point 5: Handy tip: Child porn- Avoid it.

*Point 6: The creepy mutant baby appears to be farting up a storm, as the "soap" bubbles in the water are only around his/her/its waist.

There are so many red flags here (creepy farting mutant baby that wants you to come visit it, for starters), that I don't see how this thing got out, or how anyone thought it was a good idea. But then, I'm not in the "design" biz.

Posted by Theo at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today we celebrate the June 28, 1969, anniversary of The Stonewall Riots, a milestone in gay rights. And what better way than with "Rubber Duckie" by the very out Larry Paulette, from his 1977 album What Makes a Man a Man? Here we can trace the "Bert and Ernie are gay" meme back several decades with the sexiest, most sensual version of this Sesame Street classic ever.

Download (3.3MB / 2:07)

The fine print: All downloads are provided for entertainment purposes only. VGG.COM blah blah blah blah blah blah nobody reads this blah blah blah blah thick meaty cocks blah blah blah.

NEXT WEEK ... On June 2, 1947 SOMETHING landed in Roswell, New Mexico. What, precisely, has been a matter of tense, speculative wheel-spinning for generations of people who really need to get out more. Musically, however, it's an excuse for some science-fiction-related songs!

*"Men from Mars" by Ferrante & Teicher, on their 1955 album Soundproof. Typically this piano duo wasted our time covering popular 1960s movie themes. But once upon a time, they had a little fun in the studio speeding up and slowing down their pianos, and cut this little instrumental gem.

*Bobby Goldsboro, one of the ugliest people to ever have a hit in the 1960s, recorded the insane post-apocalyptic song "The World Beyond," (from his 1968 Word Pictures album) where Grandpa reminisces to junior about fantastic things that no longer exist, like trees.

*I can't stop seem to keep pushing Up With People on YOU people. Here let's try "Earth Ship" from 1979, where they sing about how in that futuristic year 2000, we'll be dancing to disco under the sea.

Use the comments button to cast your VOTE NOW!

Posted by Theo at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So when drug company Eli Lilly wanted to promote the ever-popular Prozac®, one of the promotional items was cookies in a regular Prozac® box. How delightful, and much more appealing than another Jebus-damned ballpoint pen or notepad. The box also included a small card on which they felt it necessary to include some lawyerly ass-covering that is pricelessly hilarious. Enjoy.

Click here to view image

Posted by Theo at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sir Paul McCartney has a new album, and as the critics have done several times in the last several decades, they are lauding it as not as crappy as some of his previous albums. Also, it's his birthday. So to honor and celebrate him, we were going to have "Yesterday" as interpreted by Fascinatin' Fred Burnett on the steel drums. But I can't find his album in my collection! I assume one of you stole it, and am calling the police. In the meantime, here's an alternate from 1987, the parody group The Swinging Erudites with "The Paul McCartney Massacre."

Download (7.6/ 4:40)

The fine print: All downloads are provided for entertainment purposes only. VGG.COM blah blah blah blah blah blah nobody reads this blah blah blah blah ipso lorem fnord blah blah blah.

NEXT WEEK ... We celebrate the June 28, 1969, anniversary of The Stonewall Riots, a milestone in the gay rights movement. So we're going to gay up the choices, big time:

*Something off the lesbian, lesbian, lesbian, 1970s album Honor Thy Womanself - Songs of Liberation by the Arlington Street Women's Caucus. (Snicker. "Caucus" tee hee hee. "Cauc-us" tee hee hee chortle snicker snort. "CAUC-us" HA HAH HA HA HA!!! Oh dear God we're shallow.)

*"Rubber Duckie" by the very out Larry Paulette, from his 1977 album What Makes a Man a Man? Trace the "Bert & Ernie are gay" meme back several decades with the sexiest, most sensual version of this Sesame Street classic ever. Look, just vote for this one, trust me.

*And... representing the opposite side of the coin, "You Can't Live Crooked and Think Straight" by Up With People.

Use the comments button to cast your VOTE NOW!

Posted by Theo at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Apropos of nothing, this week's (sorry about missing last week, won't happen again, honest) track is Kelly, the talking parakeet! Most of Kelly's 1978 album How to Have a Bird that TALKS is merely repeated phrases you play to your bird so they can learn to repeat them, thus annoying and irritating visitors. But the first track is the hook- check out what this bird can do! If you listen to it without thinking it's a bird, it's the creepiest thing ever.

Download (6.9MB / 4:13)

NEXT WEEK ... is Paul McCartney's birthday, sorry, SIR Paul McCartney's birthday. In his honor, here are some weird Beatles covers for you to vote on:

* "Yesterday" by Fascinatin' Fred Burnett. What's so fascinatin'? Steel drums! The sound of the islands! Or in this case, the sound of the hotel dining room entertainment in the islands.
* "Hey Jude and Julia" - Old school mashup, sorta. Up With People wannabes The New Hope figured out a way to sing both songs at the same time and make them sort of fit together, even though they have nothing to do with each other. Cough.
* "Fool on the Hill" - Marching Band Style!!! By the 1968-1969 Ohio University Marching band. They also do a "Best of the Beatles" medley. Nothing expresses the individualism of the 1960s better than dozens of young musicians in uniforms marching in lockstep!

Use the comments link to cast your vote NOW!!!

Posted by Theo at 09:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Welcome to a new weekly feature here on our stupid, stupid blog: WTF Friday! Pictures of weird things we find!!!

This week's find is a undated religious pamphlet found at a junk store in Virginia. By none other than televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, who was disgraced in the 1980s, back when the televangelist-disgracing was good. Man you couldn't throw a rock with out disgracing a televangelist, or politician, back then. Good times, my friend, good times.

View image

Short answer: No.

But more importantly, why is Satan a Japanese Kabuki actor, and what can we do stop this Kabuki Satan!?

Posted by Theo at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)